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Why are family and friends sabotaging your success?

Dear Tricia,

I’ve been doing my best to treat myself with care over the past several months. I’ve noticed; however, that a few of my friends and family members are subtly trying to sabotage my success. They bake me cookies, they don’t honor my requests for specific foods when I eat at their homes and they don’t acknowledge the effort I’m making to lose weight and be healthy. These are the same people who used to bug me about doing something positive for myself. Why the sabotage from family and friends?  

That’s from disappointed in Delaware.

Dear disappointed, this problem is quite common.

In fact, in a survey of 1,200 people on,

  • 51% of the people polled said that their friends and family served them high fat, off limit food when they were trying to diet and lose weight.
  • 62% said their weight loss efforts were more successful when they didn’t tell anybody about the fact that they wanted to lose weight.

Why the sabotage from family and friends?Tweet this!

Your friends and family maybe the ones in the role of trying to get you to do something. They’re taking care of you, they’re taking charge. They’re trying to really motivate you and when you finally get motivated, they might feel a little bit like their role is being taken away from them. They feel uneasy and unsure of themselves because they were the ones in charge and you were the pathetic one buy now you’re standing up. You’re saying, “Okay, I’m going do it.” They might feel like, “Well, where do I stand in this picture now?” That’s a very subtle psychological energy that might be going on.

If they have weight issues themselves, they might feel a little threatened if you’re starting to lose weight. What it means is that they feel like they should be doing it too and if they’re not, they feel guilty and embarrassed. The best thing they could do is pull you down so they don’t have to feel those feelings anymore. I don’t mean they’re doing this consciously, they love you. Of course, they want what’s best for you but when their emotions get involved they might start to get a little strange and start to want to sabotage your success.

What’s best is if you don’t go announcing that you’re on a diet. After all, has it ever worked in the past? Not.

Diets don’t work and announcing that you’re on a diet only sets you up for failure.Tweet this! 

Everybody’s watching you, everybody’s seeing if you’re going do it. If they have issues themselves, they’re hoping you don’t succeed. Just keep it quiet. If you want to be healthy; if you want to turn over a new page for your health and self-care, just do it. Make a pact between you and your higher self and enjoy the ride. People will see for themselves. You don’t need to set yourself up for others’ sabotage or your own.

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